I've started a number of posts but abandoned them because I am the type of writer who sits down, writes a paragraph or two, edits heavily, writes, then edits some more, then reads it back from the start, and then publishes (and then reads through it again, out loud, or at least muttering, and edits -- it's all very narcissistic, really): point being, it takes me a while to get through to the final product.

Guess I'll just have to start writing shorter posts. When baby wakes up, just click "publish" mid-sentence. It's how life goes with a three-month old. Life is a series of commas, unedited.

Of course, what I've wanted to write about is what I think about almost all of the time, now: parenting. Parenting issues about this, that. In my valuable three months' experience, it boils down to dependence vs. independence. Because I have grown up in a household and society where little value is placed on how to raise the beings who will grow up to then place little value on how to raise little beings (because, after all, feminism is about making the stay-at-home parent role less desirable, am I right, because feminism shouldn't at all be about lowering the value on stereotypical "male" attributes and raising the value on stereotypical "female" attributes, right?) I had no idea
- how many times to change a diaper
- whether or not to use baby powder at all (I never have)
- if babies can be out in the sun
- how to even hold a baby "like a baby"
- how to put a baby to sleep 
- etc

so I made it up, largely, based on the fact that I am invested in the life and wellbeing of my precious little babe and in all earnest want her to be happy and fulfilled.

Nonetheless, I started out with the www, made up of forums with advice from others with the same questions, then graduated to parenting books -- and they have been helpful. Contradictory, but helpful. What I keep on running in to, whether it's a left-wing baby-led socialist co-sleeping baby-wearing book or a democratic parent-led separate-room capital-R-for-Routine type, both reference other cultures, usually African, wherein there are people who have no need to train their baby to be independent ASAP, luv (as Tracey Hogg the holy baby whisperer would put it). Well, I don't think I have much need for it, either. I keep dirty dancing with the cultural independent-enforcing norms that give cause for physical discomfort when bed-sharing and breastfeeding to sleep are mentioned (oh my gosh you had better stop that before she's six months or you'll be dealing with a toddler who will never sleep through the night and will never get out of your bed and you'll never have a natural relationship with your husband again and). 



Yeah.

Well, Tracey Hogg and all the rest of 'em, I happen to value a little inconsistency, and while I am not going to cater to every whim of Eden for the rest of my days, she's three months old, and no, I didn't have kids so that I could continue my independent self-absorbed lifestyle that requires to whip that baby into shape so that I don't go crazy.

Also I've pretty much carved out a hole for my hermit-style of a life so I gues