So it's been a while. While enough for me to have nailed a temporary contract teaching for approximately four months. I've been enjoying it. Daniel laughs every time someone asks "and how is that going?" when I pause, or say "no, yes, it is going well."

The truth is that teaching has almost completely absorbed my life and thoughts. There have been days, mostly earlier on, where I have felt helpless, controlled, or unequipped. I've encountered the feeling of actually losing hope in a student who honesty does not belong in school -- not as school functions. Of course I feel like I have all the answers: that of course behaviour should be measured in some shape or form if we're trying to build active citizens; that kids who come to class only because it is somewhere to be and not for any educational purposes need some other place to hang out and much greater supports than one teacher in a room of 26, etc.

I think a reason why I enjoy teaching is because I like to stand up for people, and what better group to stand up for than insecure teenagers? And of course I would like to think that I have something to offer intellectually, in terms of how to deconstruct our world and question why it functions the way it does. I feel like I have had relative success in this: students writing moving paragraphs on why people should not be allowed to be paid millions of dollars a year; a student who, when I first arrived at school, barely showed up and never participated in work, who is now putting in an effort and even questioning things like "are women treated equally?" Of course it's all relative. I have one gem who has told me to f off more than once and who quite casually put up his hand in a quiet moment, asking "why is your class so boring?"

But it's fun. It's challenging. I've always been good at school, and enjoy learning; teaching forces me to learn. It pushes me. It makes me think about something other than myself. I am also down to almost zero interactions with people other than my family members which allows me to dwell incessantly on this short phase of my career.

Hopefully the tattoo that will be forever knit into my thigh next weekend will be enough flatulence that I will be forgiven for the lack of attentiveness to my spiritual health. Hopefully the shock of physical activity with the indoor soccer season will cause my body to forgive me for all the sitting and hunching of the shoulders.