Ever since Eden was born, I have had a very urgent and natural instinct to want to be near her. I feel physical discomfort (most notably sweating, stomach churning, and twitchy behaviour) when I can't watch her when she is in someone else's arms other than my husband's. That first night when she went from being part of me to not, it was so hard for me to let her sleep in the glass bassinet beside the bed. Her entire being had resided itself inside of mine, so it felt wrong for her to not at least have the warmth and smell of me beside her. I feel such bare naked raw scratch-it-cause-it-itches draw to her. The closest comparison to this might be new romantic love -- maybe not even love, but simple desire: the hands-on, stomach pit buzz. It's the same can't-help-it-ness. There have been times when she is sleeping and I don't want to rouse her by touching her, so I just hover as close to her as I can to feel that energy, that electron transference between two souls almost but not really touching.