The other day in class we were talking about whiteness. If there's ever anything that makes me glad I went to university it's topics like this. Not that it's impossible to become familiar with privilege and post-colonial racism and other topics that mean a lot to me outside of university, but it scares me that I could have been ignorant for longer than I already was. University has changed me. It has helped me to understand a lot more history, a lot more about writing, and has painted a bleak picture of our human past and future. The skeptic I was has been multiplied. And I find it severely irritating to talk to people who haven't undergone some kind of similar change as me. I think the number one 180 I've done is with my perspectives on Canadian history and Aboriginal people. The racism that leaks out of every facet of this province is disgusting. I can't speak for other provinces, but I assume much of the same. General ignorance and generational distrust and dislike toward nations of people is shocking -- and I mean if you want to look at top-down role modeling, Stephen Harper is a prime example.

So anyway, in class the other day, when talking both about whiteness and lack of respect for Aboriginal culture, a girl spoke up and complained about how colonialism was shoved down her throat, as well as guilt, and she resents it, and still does.

I just feel so annoyed with the stupid opinion that we need to protect the white kids from feeling guilty. Come on. Could we add a little more privilege? I'm not saying we should simply teach about the Indian Act and how the vote took so much longer and Residential Schools etc (negative, negative, negative = negative). I'm saying that knowledge about our history should begin long before 1492 and should be common sense -- because that is the history of this land. General knowledge about various Aboriginal cultures should be common sense, names of those nations (Cree, Saulteaux, etc) should be common sense, stories of triumph and pride should be common sense, past practices of Aboriginals should be common sense (instead of the highly esteemed pioneer).

It's disheartening to hear so much racism. Someone sees a homeless man who is First Nations and says "see?" Someone sees a person who is a jerk who is First Nations and says "see?" But we ignore the fact that we see the same things in white people all the time -- oh, but that is the exception and not the norm (sarcasm).

Things just get a little overwhelming. I do feel as though I've changed for the better over the past 5 years, regarding some consumption habits, formulating educated opinions, etc. But it's hard for me to not wish that I was the minority -- because then I'd be the honest one, instead of the one getting continual handouts and wrestling with idiotic things like money and throwing out food and whether or not I have too many shirts.