For one of my English classes I wrote an essay on the benefits of eliminating all friendships. Not acquaintances, friendships. Some of the pros were the riddance of bullying and forming a society that can make their own decisions. To obtain advice from people who do not want to benefit from the outcome.

I'm sure it wouldn't work.

I've never been one to have a lot of friends. Even if I convinced myself that I should have a lot of friends, I could never live it out. I've worried that I've become so anti-connect that I'm damaging something. Is it wrong to be okay with non-friendships? To gather every need from approximately two people and be satisfied with that? To enjoy being alone? I'm not saying that I don't care. I would lie to you if I said I didn't feel for people. I would like to feel for them all the same, not friends above not, family above friends. Instead I felt anger and sadness when my childhood best friend didn't call me when she was half an hour out of town and said she would. Useless. Maybe my self-absorption is sucking up the possibility of new beginnings. My ends have been souldered. Though I'd like to be acquainted I may or may not invite you into my home or speak to you again. But if you need anything, just ask.

I just can't handle all the cheese. All the howdy-doos and endless pleasing. Tell me what I want to hear. Tell me what I don't.





If I've learned anything, it was from a tattoo on the back of a co-worker's calf: Don't let the bastards bring you down.