I am a hermit.

I think that I understand now why newly weds, or couples that have been married for 40 years and just never broke the pattern, so easily fall into the never socializing with anyone. I've had a nice excuse of being extraordinarily busy the two weeks after my wedding, and it hasn't really lessened that much since. However, regardless of business or not, when you're married you get to have a roomie you don't get sick of (I would hope). It's not one of the guys, or one of the girls. To all you unmarried folk, you don't really get it till you're here. I don't know, I guess I just feel like devoting my life to finding adventures and friends and things to do with Daniel now. It was sort of that way before, but not quite.

It also doesn't help that everyone in Regina is lame. I just wonder how the last years of being at university will be here. Either Daniel and I have to find some new friends, or we're not going to have anyone to hang out with.

When I lived in Lloyd, I wanted to get out. The only thing I liked about that place was my family, and two friends, for the most part. I moved to Regina. Moving allows people to start over, to try things they never had before. In a way, your friends and family can easily tie you and bind you to limitations because it's easier to try something or be something different when you're not around them. So I came here, and I definitely changed a lot. I mean obviously my family and friends still recognize me, but I found a group of friends here, I solidified who I was and what I wanted out of life. I think it takes moving away to do that. Could be wrong.

I feel some kind of itch, though. I know I have 3 more years at least, probably, at the U to finish off school. That's a pretty long time. But starting over is fun. It's so weird, because I almost feel like if I moved back to Lloyd now, that I'd have more in common there then I do here. I feel like friends I had when I first came here barely scrape by and that the friends I made after a while, well, we're busy we're getting older and we're doing different things. Now I feel like Slywka doesn't have a car, which limits our get-togethers somewhat, and that I don't really have any other friend to hang out with here. They've all moved on, or I've moved on, or both. So now I've wound up with less friends in Regina than I did in Lloyd. Funny how that happens.

I don't really want to move to Lloyd though.

Daniel hears it time and time again. I want to move somewhere pretty. With trees and lakes. Birds chirping and overgrown paths or something. A mountain. Hills, or changes in the elevation, at least. A lake, maybe. A hammock and some dirt roads and the ability to see stars at night. Although my family hates me for it, at least while I don't have children, I don't mind being further away. By that I mean I do mind, I do miss them, but I want to love where I live. And lets face it, or at least in my opinion, both Regina and Lloydminster are not what I call scenic, beautiful places to live. Maybe they are. To some.

So I'm kind of glad that I have 3 years to debate with my husband where on Earth we'll be after that. Afterall, my education degree is kind of for saskatchewan. Not that I couldn't change it with a little work. But I wouldn't mind starting fresh again. This time with a husband. Regina has become like Lloyd was for me. Uninteresting, uninspiring, with not much to offer, not many friends, not much. It has gotten to that point where starting new things seems impossible. Even stupid things like getting involved with church stuff like youth and care groups, or joining some sport league where you don't know anyone, or anything at all, really.

Perhaps today is just too mellow of a day for me. My dad is staying over tonight. This will be a nice change of scenery. At least we'll have a visitor, someone to entertain. I miss my family and friends from Lloyd. Jody. I miss you, and Kyle. And Marah in Saskatoon now. And I never see my nephews. I'm that far away aunt that tries to buy love with presents, except I'm broke so the gifts suck, if they get any at all. I've lost touch with aunts and cousins. That's life. And if I'm going to lose touch and be far away, I'd rather it be somewhere amazing. Where if people come to see me, if they have to buy a plane ticket, they'll love to come, and I'll love to have them come, because I'll live by a white sandy beach and tall mountains and monkeys come into the back yard sometimes.

Hope Daniel's on the same page as me. Uh oh.