In two weeks today I will be in Hungary. I won't be in Canada anymore. Won't be in Regina. Won't be sitting on my couch with my laptop. Won't be dishwashing anymore. Won't be sleeping in my bed and likely won't have a closet. I will, however, be teaching English and changing lives. Subtle difference. Ha ha... Well, it'd be nice to change a few lives. We'll see how it goes. Don't push it. :)


So I was thinking something sort of depressing and sort of exciting yesterday on my way to register for classes at the U. I'm almost 21. This means that I'm young enough to be able to run fast, go to bars and gamble anywhere, I'll be the most attractive that I'll ever be able to be in these last few and next few years, and I've got my whole life ahead of me still without being tied to highschool or my parents. At this point, anything is possible. Indeed the possibilities are endless. So I was driving down the street looking at older people mowing their lawns and walking their dogs I suddenly became petrified of getting old. On the one hand, people my age have got it all because they're youthful yet can make their own choices, as bad or good as they may be. On the other hand, it's frustrating because at this age where we all have so much potencial we're all bogged so terribly down with this thing called finances. Stupid money. It's one of the most annoying things because you're forced to rely on it. You can't sleep in a bed, eat food, get a tat or go to Europe on love and youth. Well, maybe you can. But while we're all still so young we all have to spend at least 8 hours a day 5 days a week usually doing something we don't even like so we can save up for any kind of joys or necessities in life. Or go to school for 4 plus years to work doing something we like. Its ironic that once people retire they then have the ability to travel the world or lie on a beach -- in a wrinkly body. But before gravity has done its best on us we either have to live with our parents when we're in our twenties.... or starve to death trying to pay the bills and live the way we want at the same time. It's ridiculous. But it's how the world goes round.

I guess all you can do is try your best. I guess I just don't want to be 40 or 50 years old mowing my lawn with a young person driving by thinking about life and to think that I was there and I didn't do what I needed to do when I was young to feel content and satisfied with where I will be then.