I have a fish named Job. When my sister got married in August of 2007 her centrepieces were Japenese Fighting Fish. After the reception they told people they could keep the fish. I've always been against having fish because I think it's ridiculous to hold something that's used to an entire lake or ocean in a little tiny plastic tank with artificial plants and shiny rocks. I've always been against it. But when my brother in law told me (to this day I still don't know if it's a lie) that these Japenese Fighting Fish actually like small places and die if they are in wide open areas, Job caught my attention. Afterall, where else would he go? And not only is he a mere Japenese Fighting Fish, but he's a champion. People took these fish and put them in tanks together to watch them kill each other. Seriously, people haven't changed since the Roman times. Give them food and games. So in the form of brutal fish-fighting entertainment, my Job won out. He was found in a hotel room and a cleaning lady walked by with him in a little bag and told his story. I was Job's rescuee. Ever since that day, I've loved Job. You may think it ridiculous, obsurd, or impossible to have actual love for a fish, but I think I actually do. I brought him five hours with me to Regina where I attended Western for my last year. And he lives on in his little tank with a skull in it. An artificial plant. Non-shiny rocks. And every morning he swims around furociously waiting to be fed. When I leave on trips I worry about him. I've dreamed about him. And I've thought about him dying and what I'll do and how I'll react. Where my two lizard friends failed me and died after all my efforts (I'll never get another one I'm too scared now) Job swims on. This may be the lamest blog post of all time, but I just wanted to dedicate something to my Job. I hope he never dies.

IM ENGAGED!!!! Wow!

Just had to throw that one out there! It is a week to the day since the big question was asked and it is starting to really sink in! I was so shocked to hear the question and poor Daniel had to wait a few minutes till I was able to speak. But of course the answer was yes. When he got down on one knee it's hard to explain what happened in my brain. A mental explosion, maybe? The overlying big bold letters were "THIS IS BIG". Marriage! I can honestly say that although I knew that Daniel was going to ask someday, and that I would say yes someday, the closest date I had calculated very carefully down to a science was this upcoming summer. Or maybe our two year - but that was pushing it. Now marriage is speedily approaching to the date of December 31, 2009. I honestly couldn't be luckier. No one out there can make me laugh like Daniel, and no one would ever try harder than he does. I am certain without a shadow of a doubt that he will be there for me forever. And why wait, right?

So it is easy to say that marriage is the thing that had been occupying my mind more than anything else lately. It's been so much on my mind that when I drive somewhere for the past week I have listened to no music unintentionally. Just cause I'm too busy thinking. I'm not going to lie about the fact that i am a little scared about the whole thing. Which is funny because i grew up desiring marriage. It's what I have always wanted. But here it is staring me in the face and it is a little intiminating. But I heard someone say once that your never ready for marriage. Not fully anyways. Onto a new phase of life! You know, child bearing and house cleaning. What woman doesn't jump at that? Haha. Well anyways. I promise I'll be a cool wife and I will still be friends with single folk.

I just finished hanging my Debrecen scarf, along with other various kept tickets, maps, and other memorandum of my summer on my wall. I am feeling much more settled now. Today I was five hours northwest of Regina, where I had been all weekend. Lloydminster: Canada's boarder town. My birth place, and nearest "large" town that I grew up in/close to. As in I didn't go to school there. Today though, I relived my six weeks vacant in close to a three hour ordeal of pictures, family, comments, discussions, and questions. I think if this had come a day or two sooner I wouldn't have been prepared. But I'd had just enough time, I guess. For the first time I really opened up about the trip. As my grandparents are well seasoned travellers and have very cultured minds, the questions and comments and reflections were so different from most of the lame briefings in Regina. Instead of the cliche, and people asking out of politeness, I had genuine people with real desire of wanting to know details. It was phenominal, somehow. Just what I needed. The little breakfast to de-whatever we had with Andrea didn't really de-anything (although it was a nice time). Today was that day for me.

School starts tomorrow. WOW. Not quite prepared. But I'm ready anyways. Life is finally establishing order.

I think I've established a good, solid, healthy, ever-growing, steady hate for money. We don't have a good relationship. It's not good to me, and I don't appreciate it. Both ways it just downright blows.

One thing after the next. As soon as I think that my student loan stuff is cleared up, now a cheque bounced and I'll probably have a bad credit rating for the rest of my life. Just like that commercial on tv of that guy singing a song about wanting to buy a house but his girlfriend has bad credit so he can't and he lives in a place with like six guys and sections of the band play in every room. Even the bathroom. Now I will be that girlfriend. Money will ruin my entire life.

It was such a stupid mistake. I was in a hurry to write my cheque out for rent. I grabbed the wrong chequebook. To my Lloyd account. The one I never use and had like 100 bucks in it. I didn't even know that I had cheques for that account anywhere where I could grab them. And now there are other difficulties / potencial problems with my student loan which I don't care to elaborate on. And I have the biggest headache I've had in a long time. Tonight is not my night.

Today was my day, though. I had a great day. I got up after sleeping in, read, then went and played tennis and went for a swim in an outdoor pool. Sure, mysteriously the screwdriver that starts my car disappeared, and we had to walk to Slywkas dads' work to grab an envelope opener to be my temp "key". It's actually a golden sword that says VIP on the end of it. But even that, in its oddity was at least amusing. I then proceeded to buy some groceries and Daniel made a delightful supper of parogies and sausage. Onion and bacon. But now, I sit alone in my dimly lit appartment on this Wednesday night, with a furrowed brow, red eyes and a headache.

If only I was an optimist.

I'm addicted to dreammoods.com. There. I said it.

It is a rare occurance for me if I go to sleep and don't have at least one vivid dream. If you happen to be one of those who has heard about one or two of them, you know exactly how nonsensical they are. When I was younger I used to write down my dreams daily. If I had kept it up, I'd have a novel. Dreammoods.com is a website that you can look almost any word up and it tells you the meaning. I'm not saying I rely on this guidance, but it's the funniest thing. I am a believer that dreams have some kind of meaning some of the time. It's perhaps a persons sub concious thinking of those things that are bothering or exciting or terrifying you and somehow, very imaginitively, letting that emotion out in a dream. Perhaps this dream dictionary is the be all and end all. For while I was in Debrecen I had a dream about an owl I rented from a store. Later on, it was walking on the road and horrifically a combine ran over it. And according to the website, to see a dead owl means a near death experience, or a metaphorical death signifying the end of a phase in life. At that time lst was coming to an end. And later that very day I was crossing the street and had to literally sprint as fast as I could to avoid the impact of a black jeep. Ha.

Today, my interpretation is that I need to share my workload instead of trying to do it myself, and I don't feel like I'm being treated fairly. All that is from a cake that was in my dream. I broke the cake though, and to break something would imply that I want a change in the way my life is currently going, and/or I need to take things slower.

So there you go guys. Need the solutions to life problems? Dreammoods.com.